My name is Dan and this is my first ever blog.

My reason for doing this is that I want to be a writer, mainly screenwriting and that sort of thing. My problem is that I have attention span of a four year-old and the work ethic of a chav who has popped out 10 kids and has been living on the dole in a council flat since they were 14 (my apologies to any of you who are reading). I admit it, I am a lazy bum. So, the theory is that if I start writing stuff in this then I'll hopefully get more motivated to write properly. Genius!

So I should probably get on with saying a little about myself. I'm 22, just finished university here in Portsmouth, where I now live after bagging myself a nice little job for the local council. And they say students are a stain on the underpants of society with our tax dodging and such. Well, I'm going to say this, if the university here shut down and no students came here then the bars and clubs here would be buggered! I heard from someone once that Portsmouth had the most bars and pubs per person than any other city in the UK, although I have no idea if that's true. Maybe we have been replaced by now at the top of that particular chart? One day I'll get round to looking that up...

But yes, my job. I work in the council's noise pollution department, and my daily routine basically consists of me writing letters to people and telling them to shut up. I'm only part time at the moment but you never know, a permanent job may be on the cards! I'm moving into a new flat with a good mate of mine at the end of the month and so by all accounts I have now technically left home. Until, of course, I inevitably fall straight on to my arse and have to crawl back to London and beg the parents to let me live at home again.

I do have plans to go travelling at some point soon, with the target destination being Mexico (not entirely sure why, just think it'll be amazing). Should probably think about looking into that soon actually. A massive test of my organisational skills awaits me there methinks. Screw it, I'll just wing it and see what happens, its always worked out in the past.

What else is there to say about me? Oh yes, I am ridiculously single. Not just single, but ridiculously so. Its not that I can't talk to women, some of my best mates are female, its just I always seem to get stuck in the bloody 'friend zone'. You see, I make the mistake of actually trying to get to know a girl instead of making a beeline for the vagina and banging her behind a co-op at 3am. More fool me. Seems thats the way the world is these days, and indeed anytime during our species' brief history on this planet. We are goverened by our carnal desires and the need to mate with as many members of the opposite sex as possible. I don't know, maybe I'm just an old romantic at heart and my kind are a dying breed? Oh well fuck it, at least I don't have the clap.